Parents in our post-modern world tend to be committed to but anxious about their child-rearing responsibilities. They've tried the countless parenting books on the market, but many of these are strident, fear-based books that loving parents instinctively reject, while still searching for direction. Now Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a refreshing new look at parenting. Rejecting rigid rules and checklists that don't work, Dr. Kimmel recommends a parenting style that mirrors God's love, reflects His forgiveness, and displaces fear as a motivator for behavior. As we embrace the grace God offers, we begin to give it-creating a solid foundation for growing morally strong and spiritually motivated children. Releasing in an affordable trade paper edition, this revolutionary book presents a whole new way to nurture a healthy family. |
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 Excellent book that I would highly recommend |
| Review Date: December 31, 2004 |
| Reviewer: Jennifer Schrank, |
I just finished reading this book and I would highly recommend it. It is directed toward Christian parents but has principles that non-Christian parents can use. My favorite suggestion from his book,which he used in his own family, is the "What's Your Beef?" night.(pages 206-208) To promote respectful candidness in his family, this night allowed his children an opportunity to tell their parents anything that either of them had said or done to hurt them. "The qualification was that they couldn't bring up positions we had taken because of our moral standards(which they might have disagreed with) or consequences that we might have had to bring their way because of things they had done wrong...The key rule for Darcy and me when they shared these things from their hearts was that we were not permitted to defend ourselves...I might have been able to justify my words and actions from my perspective of the facts, but it would have only done harm. The point was, we had hurt them somehow, regardless of the facts."
He also gives an overall matrix that is very useful (what your child's three driving inner needs are and the four basic things you need to do to maintain a grace based environment)and uses many examples from his own family and others.
He also communicates grace for you as a parent, since we all fall short. This book gave me hope and a great start to create a grace based home without compromising moral standards I want to uphold. He does a great job of balancing the two since often we as parents go to either extreme of legalism or anything goes. |
A necessary tool to being a balanced parent!
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| Review Date: October 1, 2004 |
| Reviewer: A mother of three, Texas |
| Tim Kimmel has done a good job of explaining how many conventional parenting styles fall apart later in a child's life & ultimately lead children to rebellion. It was hard for me to read many of his observations at first, as I myself was parenting with a heavy hand. I sort of felt chastised by him for the first half of the book! I guess I deserved it. I'm glad I hung in there though as he showed me how to lighten up by treating my children with the same grace that God extended to me through Christ. I truly believe I will be a better parent for having read this book! The results have already started to unfold with my three kids. I have been able to let go of some of the small issues I was making such a big deal over & focus more on important issues that matter. Since I rebelled hard as a teen, I was worried about how to handle that later in life when my kids are teens. I feel I am better equipped to deal with those unavoidable years of rebellion as my kids (hopefully) find their own way into the arms of God. I suppose before reading this I just thought I could push them into God's arms & maybe they'd stay there. Thanks Tim, you've lighted my path via your use of God's Word & your experience. I highly recommend this book to parents, grandparents, counselors and teachers. |
Helps you sort out what's really important in parenting
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| Review Date: December 16, 2004 |
| Reviewer: Gontroppo, Bathurst, NSW Australia |
I think every parent would benefit from reading Kimmel's book. One of the best aspects is his discussion of his own failures with his own children, but also his description of how he recovered from some of his mistakes.
This would be a good book for heavy disciplinarians to read, but I wonder if they would be able to take on board what he says.
A good aspect of the book is his discussion of how often parents base their discipline of their children on ensuring that other parents approve of them! How true!
There are many amusing and provocative anecdotes, which will make you think.
I also recommend H Norman Wright's "How to Talk So your Kids will Listen."
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The Best Parenting Resource Besides the Bible
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| Review Date: November 11, 2005 |
| Reviewer: Grace Based Mommy, North Carolina |
I recently read this book after hearing Dr. Kimmel on a radio program. It is absolutely phenomenal. God has been leading me down the path of understanding His grace for some time now. I am a strong advocate of having an intimate, vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ, and I've been looking for ways to apply that grace to my parenting. This book completely reiterates everything I believe about God's grace and how to apply it in the home.
Let me be clear, we do not believe in a home of license - we have strong boundaries. But we don't make our son do things that aren't relevant. We don't force him to be quiet when there is no need to be. We let him be himself, well behaved, of course. I'm so impressed with this book that I've started buying it for young mommies and expecting mommies in my church. I'm blessed with a leadership team that is also committed to God's grace and leading people into a real relationship with Jesus.
This is probably the very best parenting book (other than the Bible) that I've read - and believe me, I've read them all. Dr. Kimmel should be commended for walking where God wants him to walk. More people need to be emphasizing God's grace. |
This book has changed my family
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| Review Date: January 6, 2009 |
| Reviewer: Keytutor, Plymouth, MA |
| This book has literally been escruciating to read. It has exposed the extremes of our style of parenting that we had been using. It caused us to examine the premises upon which we were operating as parents. In being exposed we were forced to say that much of how and why we did things to our children were wrong. The fruit of our style of parenting was bearing ugly fruit that was very painful and destructive. We were losing our son. The Christian boarding school we got him to required this book for us to read and we are so very thankful that we did. It is hard to put into words the emotions that we have gone through as parents; the grief, the guilt; the anger; the deep sadness. Upon reading and discussing the contents of this book, we came to a realization that we were pharisaical parents based upon fear not love and grace. That we had kept things away from our children out of fear that they would turn to "worldly" things. This only caused them to reject us and want it more which caused a huge spiralling out of control mess until our 16 year old was totally out of our control with violence and was tossed out for the sake of the other children. This book caused us to see our wrong and begin to correct it. We now have our son back and are on the road to reconciliation and restoration of our relationship. We have not arrived but we now have a different grace based approach that does not deny Biblical standards and discipline. It is a walk of faith not of formulas because our God desires to have a relationship with us that then we model to our children. It is working! |
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